The Reseller (Part 2)

My name is John. I am a huge fan of postman pat. I found this game on ebay sporting a hyper realistic postman pat so I just had to buy it. The price was $333 I though nothing of it at the time, and so I doubled what I payed because I'm very nice. When the cartridge arived my mailbox caught on fire and I thought it was a bit hot, but anways I retrieved the cartridge from the mailbox. I went inside and my cat blew up. I heard maniacal laughter in the bathroom, but I figured it was just my neighbor. I put the cartridge into my super satan 6664 and turned it on. The title screen showed postman pat, but there was something strange. There was hyper realistic drool leaking from his mouth.It looked cool. Anyway, I pressed start. The first level has Postman Pat trying to deliver mail. The controls were strange, but I came up with a strategy to beat the level. I would have Postman Pat systematically kill everyone in town. Soon the game realised my plan and started sucking energy out of my body. I thought it was cool. Suddenly a hyper realistic Satan Penis came out of the screen and said that Pat is batman and doesent kill. I said "your gay". Then the sprite for Pat looked at me. At the end of the level a face of Mrs. Hubbard appeared and asked me questions. The only thing she asked was "Do you like steering wheels covered in poo?" I said no and the face looke angry. I played through the next few levels when sudenly on level 666 a hyper realistic Satan blew up my tv and sucked me into hell. I said hello and he said "Been Drowned?" I said no and left. This game sucks. I listed it on craigslist and sold it to some little shithead who thought it was for the wii.